I hear ya!!! The only thing stable in my 3 screens is the displayport monitor is always #1 the DVI and HDMI differ between Win8 and VECC.
A couple years (or more) back the mod of this forum at the time posted about something similar. Don't quote me as my memory is failing but I think it involved editing an .xml file to rearrange the monitor numbering. I tried a search to find the post but no luck. Said moderator still hangs around so if he sees this he'll either say I'm a nut and/or provide/deny a workable solution.
Hate is such a strong word!! You'll be grey prematurely worrying about this trivial stuff.
#1: Phenom II C2 955BE @ 3.6, Antec Kuhler 920, Gigabyte GA-MA790FX-DS5, Asus 5870/V2, ASUS Xonar D2X, 4 x 1gig OCZ2N1066SR2GK @800, Antec Truepower New 750, Arc Midi, Vistax64
#2: Athlon 64 X2 4200+, AGP 1950pro, Audigy 2, Asus A8V-D, 2gig ram, Enermax 465P, Antec900case. Now on Win8.1pro cat 10.2
09:53 AM by